Should We Get A Divorce? - Can You Forgive Your Husband Cheating?

After suffering an infidelity in your marriage your world suddenly seems like its caving in. Uncertainty, worthlessness and paranoia can make everyday life a real trial.

Sometimes just the very thought of trying to patch up the shattered remains of your marriage can be just too much to bear.

It is small comfort, but you are not alone.

Many couples come to a point in their marriage, when after trying to repair the damage with little or no success, the only option left is divorce.

Only you can decide if you can carry on, and only you know if you can live with your choices.

Nobody knows your situation or the circumstances, but it is important to remember that the decision to divorce can often be clouded by the immediate pain you feel. Before you go down the road to divorce, it often helps to try and get your marriage in the best possible shape it can be.

By this I mean with professional help from an impartial objective. Good marriage councillors can give you the best possible opportunity of getting your marriage in the best shape it can be to make the decision to divorce or not. Most good councillors will encourage you to find all that is good in your marriage to help you make an informed choice.

An excellent Survive An Affair course by well known marriage councillor Dr. Frank Gunzburg, Ph.D. is available online, with a 21 part free course option. So even if your partner is unwilling to attend councilling, an insight into what you can do to save your marriage is open to you.

Learn How Survive An Affair
Click here and learn how to survive an affair
(Highly recommended course from Dr. Frank Gunzburg)

Dealing With Infidelity - Images Of The Affair

It's probably one of the the most disabling parts of dealing with infidelity - the images that seem to haunt your every waking moment.

The worst part is, that even though you know nothing of the details, your imagination will try and fill in the blanks.

An excruciatingly painful, and emotionally draining experience.

Coming to terms with the idea of someone else is tough, but coupled with the living nightmare of those images, moving onward can be nearly impossible.

The most common form for these images to take are:

# The woman your husband is/was involved with is perfect in every way.

# Your husband and the other are laughing and having fun.

# Your husband being intimate with the other person.

# Images of the other woman in your home.

When these images occur, you feel utterly powerless to stop them. It's common for these images to appear without warning, and they can often disturb sleep, so it's important to stop this damaging cycle.
These images represent your feelings of betrayal, so to move forward and start dealing with infidelity, you need to get them under control.

Here is a technique that you can try that will help you erase those troubling images.

At first it will take some effort, but with practice, you can learn to control the power these images have over you.

Here is an exercise taught Dr. Frank Gunzburg to help you gain control over these fantasies and strengthen your emotional well being, and start dealing with infidelity.

#1: Create a Quiet Period.
It's important schedule a time where you can sit down quietly without interruptions, and call these images to your mind. This might seem counter intuitive, but gaining control over these images is very empowering.
Your quiet zone is where you allow the images to come forward.

#2: Let The Images In.
Once you are settled, let the images come to the front of your mind. Remember the difference is that you are letting them in, and you are the one in control.

#3: Manipulate the Fantasies.
Once the images are clear in your mind, it's time to exercise control, and manipulate them. One way to do this is treat the images like a slideshow or movie, fast forward or re-wind like you were using a remote control. For many people, using the virtual re-wind button helps in feeling better.

As you practice this technique you will find that you will have more and more control of where and when the images appear. You will find that you will be able to change the images to whatever you want.

This just a one of the techniques taught by infidelity expert Dr. Frank Gunzburg

See the link below for more advice on dealing with infidelity.

Learn How Survive An Affair
Click here and learn how to survive an affair
(Highly recommended course from Dr. Frank Gunzburg)

Self Esteem After An Affair - Regaining Your Self Worth

Low self esteem after an affair, along with self confidence and lack of self respect, will often plague you when trying to deal with the after effects of infidelity.

You were not responsible for the affair, but you are responsible for whatever actions you take to make your life what you want it to be. You cannot change the past, or undo what has been done, but you do have the power to influence the here and now.

Once you realise that you have this power, the power to take your life by the reins, and lead it in any direction that you want it to go, you will start to notice your self esteem returning, along with your self respect and a greater feeling of self worth.

Empower yourself with the knowledge that the situation you are in is because of choices made by someone else, but it is within your power to start the process of working through them towards a better future.

“....grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.”

Learn How Survive An Affair
Click here and learn how to survive an affair
(Highly recommended course from Dr. Frank Gunzburg)

How Do I Trust My Husband Again?

Trust, the foundation that any healthy relationship is built on.

Countless years spent building trust in a relationship, are quickly destroyed by an affair. The destruction of trust is without doubt the most harmful aspect of an affair.

Without rebuilding the trust that has been lost, it will be very difficult to move on after the affair.
Beginning the process of rebuilding trust can be hard, but one way is to examine the ways in which you do trust your husband, however small they may be. Finding ways in which you still trust your husband will help you start to trust him in areas of your life where the trust has been lost.

Here are a few examples:

Finances - Do you share a bank account? Do you share joint responsibility for your financial stability? If you do, this involves a large amount of trust. Do you trust him with this?

Children - If you have children, do you trust him with their safety and well-being?

Physical Safety - This is often taken for granted in most relationships, but do you trust him with your own personal and physical safety?

None of the above are directly related to the trust lost after an affair, but each is an example of a huge amount of trust that you probably still have in your husband.

There is no quick way to rebuild trust lost by an affair, but the best way to start is to ask your husband for complete transpancy in your relationship from now on. This means that he must be be willing to provide 100% honesty in all areas of his life. He must be willing to tell you everything you need to know for your emotional peace of mind.

This approach is very successful at rebuilding trust, but will require a huge amount of willingness and effort from both of you.

Follow the link below for an in depth look at how this technique can help you start trusting your husband again.

Learn How Survive An Affair
Click here and learn how to survive an affair
(Highly recommended course from Dr. Frank Gunzburg)

Marriage After An Affair - Will It Ever Be The Same?

Will our marriage ever be the same again?

It's a question that is often asked when dealing with infidelity, the injured party will want the relationship to go back to the way it was before, in effect, to turn back the clocks.


As is often the case, when someone is the victim of infidelity they will look back at the time before the affair and only remember the good times, choosing to overlook the signs that may have led to it.

The truth is, you do not want your marriage to go back to way things were. In any affair, the cheater has to take full responsibility for their actions, or there really is no chance of going forward, but if everything was ok before the affair, it wouldn't have happened right?

Romanticizing the past will not fix the present. The only way to heal the pain of infidelity is to leave the past where it is - in the past. Such a traumatically emotional experience will never be forgotten, but unbelievable as it sounds, it is possible to get to a secure and blissfully happy place in your marriage where the affair will no longer haunt your every waking hour, but be a distant memory, only revisited on the rarest of occasions.

There is no short route to this place in your marriage, only a commitment on both sides to build new memories and a stronger emotional bond. It's a fact that many couples that do this will have a stronger marriage after an affair, than they ever had before.

With the right guidance, love, honesty, and commitment will build the strongest of marriages, click the link below and join the thousands of couples that have done so, even after an affair.

Learn How Survive An Affair
Click here and learn how to survive an affair
(Highly recommended course from Dr. Frank Gunzburg)

An Affair Proof Marriage - Getting It Right

An affair proof marriage? Is that possible? The answer is a whole hearted "YES."

To achieve this your marriage needs to be completely transparent.

This means rules and boundaries have to be set, agreed on and stuck to with no exceptions.

No little white lies, no excuses, no grey areas, just 100% honesty. "Transparency" is the key. Good communication is everything. Discuss your fears and anything that makes you feel uncomfortable. Tell him every little detail, tell him about the guy that tries to flirt with you sometimes in the coffee shop, but also ask your husband to meet you for lunch, at the same place... no secrets..

To create an affair proof marriage you must build a solid wall around it. This wall must be something that you both have built, something that no-one can breach, and neither of you will step outside.

Learn How Survive An Affair
Click here and learn how to survive an affair
(Highly recommended course from Dr. Frank Gunzburg)

Emotional Affairs - Cheating Or Not?

Its not really cheating right? Nothing physical happened, so he's right, there's nothing to worry about.

The truth is, a physical betrayal is bad enough, but an emotional one? Emotional affairs are possibly the worst kind of infidelity. Finding out your husband has been, or is sharing his deepest emotional needs with someone else is heartbreaking, and goes against the very principles of marriage.

It's a common trait these days, more and more men are striking friendships with opposite sex, that go on to be more than just a "friendship".
Men are essentially uncomplicated, and only desire admiration and appreciation in their relationships, and just as importantly, need to be shown it.
Once a man feels he is not appreciated or admired, subconsciously or not, he will seek it elsewhere.

Emotional attentiveness is an essential part of any loving relationship, and all too often, with the passing of time, is forgotten.

Find out how survive an emotional affair and rediscover that emotional connection with your husband.

Learn How Survive An Affair
Click here and learn how to survive an affair
(Highly recommended course from Dr. Frank Gunzburg)

How To Forgive Your Husband For Cheating?

The very fact that you are actively looking for a way to forgive your husband for cheating is a major step in the right direction.

One of the biggest hurdles to overcome when trying to save your relationship after infidelity is finding the courage within yourself to try and forgive.

If you have recently found out about the affair, my guess is that you feel some, if not all of the following.


Disbelief

Physical and mental pain (nausea and other stress related symptoms)

Shock

Sadness

Anger

Helplessness

Resentful

Feelings of low self worth

Overcoming the avalanche of emotions that threaten to overwhelm you is no mean feat. Amongst this turmoil of emotions, you may or may not have made the decision to try and save your marriage.

Foremost in your mind at this traumatic time will be your marriage, and if it can be saved, but above all, this has to be a time for you.

Forgiveness, although can be achieved, is not something you have to do to move forward.

Approaching the situation with a clear head and a positive course of action is all important.

Learn How Survive An Affair
Click here and learn how to survive an affair
(Highly recommended course from Dr. Frank Gunzburg)